Author Comments
The site http://what-would-i-say.com/ takes all your Facebook comments and statuses, and generates a status that sounds like you! You have to sift through of the nonsensical stuff (especially if you type like an elementary school drop-out), but more often than not, you'll wind up with a couple gems like these.
And yes, this is totally what I sound like when I read my statuses/comments aloud before posting them.
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