A commendable attempt at the style.

My number one issue with this track is how unrealistic your guitar style sounds, it sounds like it's clipping constantly. If you used a more organic-sounding library like Shreddage 2 (for Kontakt), lowed down the track abit and mixed the drum patterning around so it's not 4x4 constantly, I think you could pull off something which could sound along the lines of Psyclon Nine (back in their Crwn Thy Frnicatr days).

If you have any future tracks you want me to throw down some Aggro-style vocals for, let me know and I can happily do that for you (I'm currently doing vocals for another guy at the moment which I'm nearly done on aswell!). Just give me a shout if you are interested.