I dig the tune.
Hello there! Some notes:
- You didn't really do anything that makes this stand out from the original, besides slowing the tempo down and transposing the notes.
- The drums, particularly the kick, is buried deep in the track. You could barely hear it. Try bumping the volume of the kick or lowering the volume of the other synths.
- That sweep is way too loud. Turn that down too.
- It ended very abruptly. Like, there isn't even space to let the lead synth ring out a little.
tl;dr in terms of remixing you didn't do much with the track, either the synths were really loud or that you gave the drums a lower priority when you're mixing, and it ended as quickly as it started.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.