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VA Contest 9 Submission

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Author Comments

Music by Newgrounds user AshleyAlyse
Song: Hidden Tears

Sound Effects from freesound.org and puchased sound FX library by Andrew Quinn.

The local Lord, Lord Myar, has hired Miraeon to scout a nearby cave. He wants it mapped out before he has it mined for ore. Miraeon has enlisted the help of an aged cartographer and guide, Cletus, who is well known for his competence and trustworthiness. Also hired, is an orc by the name of Thrum, for protection.

Thrum loves fighting, but he's a bit claustrophobic. Cletus is a bit past his heyday, and enjoys drinking at local taverns.

My portfolio: www.mitchellslucas.com

I'm available for voicing your games and projects! Contact me!

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Acting- 43/50
Range- 23/25
Fit- 23/25
Mixing- 20/20
Originality- 14/15
Writing- 13/15
TOTAL- 136/150

This entry has great mixing and use of SFX. At one point the orc's voice slipped into a redneck-ish voice. I would have liked to hear more emotional range from Cletus and the main guy. At times you had a bit of a William Shatner complex in your acting meaning some of your reading had an odd rhythem to it and many of the lines had inflections that could have been varied more. Not really bad acting as it fit your particular skit for the most part, but it would have brought your characters to life. It's hard to explain, so if you don't get what I'm saying, let me know and maybe I can try to explain it better. You have an awesome narrator's voice; I'd recommend it to anyone. It sounded very similar to the leader's voice, however, which brings you down a bit in this contest. Overall, your quality is excellent. As far as this contest goes, I need to hear more emotion (great voice for a radioplay or audio book though). I'd like to hear the whole story of this, because i was bit confused at first as to what was exactly happening. "How shitty" gave me a good chuckle. I really hope to hear more from you in the future!

Acting: 47/50
Range: 24/25
Fit: 25/25
Mixing: 20/20
Originality: 14/15
Writing: 15/15
TOTAL: 145/150

Additional Comments: Great mic quality. Loved echo effect and cave ambience. Great job working fantasy adventure into this horrible job theme. Or.. maybe I mean the other way around? It's written like an audio drama series. I'm actually kind of interested in hearing this continued. Excellent range of characters.

Acting: 45
Range: 24
Fit: 5
Mixing: 20
Originality: 13
Writing: 14
Total: 121

Review: Let me start by saying that your mixing was very well done. I can not find any issues with it to critique on. To add, I think that your acting good and I could feel where your characters were coming from, however the orc needed just a tad bit more to sell me on his character. Now as far as writing is concerned it was pretty good not perfect but good. the originality was not bad either. However, I do not feel that it fit the theme very well. Sure the job ended badly, and it was bad that the ruler knew that there was no ore to be found, but I personally don't feel that the main character had a pretty good point, easiest money you can make. Overall not a bad piece at all. In fact I liked it, but I have to be a judge.


Excellent acting, decent accents, Either these adventurers are either very brave, or they can't express fear, and nice touch with Cletus's drunkeness. the narrator and Miraeon sounded similar to each other, but you put a lot of effort into Cletus and Thrum though, it shows. Everyones fit was perfect, Thrum though, I didn't really realize he was an Orc until it was pointed out, I thought he was a viking or barbarian at first. Some EPIC mixing here, I realized they were in a cave/tunnel almost instantly. Although this is original.. doesn't exactly imply.. "Most horrible job", also, the protection wimping out after the threat is discovered.. kinda cliche. The story is amazing, but this doesn't exactly apply as.. "Most horrible job" in my book, but I guess I can't be cruel since Jinsha didn't disqualify you. The plot was interesting, but it felt kind of anti climatic, however it is still well thought out.

Obsidiaguy responds:

Thanks for these. I really appreciate all of the judges taking the time to critique. Good feedback for sure.

Fantastic vocal range and excellent sound mixing.

Obsidiaguy responds:

I appreciate the kind words, TDK1987.

Its really good, excelents skills with the voices and sound effects, and in top of that you have a good interesting story.

Obsidiaguy responds:

Thanks DivoFST. I love doing voices, sound design, and writing, so I had a lot of fun with this. Good luck in the contest!

Haha I entered the contest as well, and I might say I have my work cut out for me!
Fantastic job sir!

Obsidiaguy responds:

Thanks a lot, dude! Good luck in the contest!

Credits & Info


4.31 / 5.00

Sep 9, 2012
11:55 AM EDT
Spoken Word
File Info
9.4 MB
4 min 7 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.