I think, for industrial musics sake, it's too... "house-ie" (probably) the kick sample you use has a lot to do with this for example... - I think you need to find your voice as an artist. Because this is like industrial music - but - I hear other influences. The style wavers a bit. too much maybe? I don't know, that's hard to say. Some parts were WAY TOO crowded with sound. I really wanted to give you a 3 or lower for that. Starting at like 3:31 is an example moment of this. It's harsh on the ears. It's basically a mix problem. That can be cleaned up with good mixing / leveling / EQ-ing .. but if you're using too many clashing instruments, mixing might not be enough to solve the situation.
Overall I gave you a 5 for the intro - it's just clean and good, which might be backwards for industrial, but then again, the genres thing, (I partly agree with AReviewer) AND for like the part starting at 1:29 - that was tight. You get that moment into a whole song... oo. In my personal opinion - very good... up until about 1:37. might just be the synths / instruments you used.
The intro has potential, but after the 1 minute mark...meh
You had a build up but no real climax. IMO the song got stale after you looped at 2 min
Will work on it, hopefully improve to point of quality. Also, I love your name