Don't like it

Would be better with other instruments and don't use too much backward effects. I think you know what I mean. :D
Drums and bass would be good and some synth etc.. then mix it and equalize it then I'll give you 10 and 5, if you can do it.

I'm not saying you suck but you got to focus more and use some time and effort to make it good.

I have finally realized it myself.

That's enough critisism.