Gimmicks aren't to shy away from.
Really, the combination of that cool effect (tone) that rang at the start and the pitch of your driving synth was like... bad. No analogy.
Trying to use that sound throughout the piece a little more would have seemed like a gimmick, but might have saved it from seeming like Turbo Grafx-16 music. I just couldn't take it seriously.
Here's where I may be made to be an idiot, but was this intended for parody?
Cool concept though, in the rhythm and build of it.
Keep it up.