Like the beat
Okay first positive, I like your rythim but here comes the negative, the guitar is shit. I f you wanna fix that since i assume you are using some for of slayer, add some hardcore vst effects and maybe even the soundgoodizer vst to it. Also play around with the options on slayer to reduce that fuzzyness. Maybe even add some reeverb, phaser, and/or some chorus to it to give it some unique tone ^^ trust me i understand how hard it is to make guitar on the computer. :) Good work I wanna hear more soon.
The main idea is somewhat okay but the guitar sounds like garbage - have you tried looking up how to emulate a guitar? (It sounds like you are using Slayer or something like that.) But yeah, my ears hurt.
Also you should look up "basic equalization." It will help you with your songs in the future.
Anyhow this would be sick if you had executed it better.