Woo.
I love this song, so remixes always interest me.
Thing is, it just didnt sound right. The right idea of melody was there, but without the chords beneath it, it really wasnt that good. Its still not realistic, but it is trancy sounding which is good. When the lead comes in, dont make it change key with the strings until the very last cadence, it should make it sound a bit thicker. It really improves once the drums kick in though.
Still, you need to get those chords in there somwhere.