Pretty Good

I don't think you should have started on the melody. A good trance track should start on the bass-beat or drum-beat (don't use both, though). If you're mixing trance as a DJ you would want to build up to the melody, which you would do by starting slow with the beat, then building up to a climax and starting the melody on the climax, while you might not have been able to do that with this track (don't forget most tracks of this genre are 5 minutes plus), you should try it. i'd love to hear what you come up with using my advice...

this fell so good~

ya~
I like it~
great~
> //<

it wasn't bad

in my opinion, I think you should have waited before you put the melody in, like after the beat. also adding high hats in with the kicks would have been a good idea.