needs clean up.

I love that u made a second make of this song. the base was a really good touch. But i think the quality actually got worse in this one than in ur first one. and Honestly speaking, i liked the first better than this one. But Its still a great song. Just needs tiding up. Its glad u made it longer. DO NOT CHANGE THAT. in fact really dont change anything, just clean it up.

Needs to be recorded properly.

The song itself has potential, and I like the bass sound--when I can hear it. Look into multi-track recording software like Audacity (it's free!). It will allow you much greater control over how you hear your instruments, and will allow everybody to do the best take they possibly can.