It doesn't sound right...

So I'll start you off with a 10/10 and deduct points how I see fit
Cons: It's extremely off key (-2)
It sounds like you're playing random notes (-2)
I don't like the sound of the synths(-2)
The EQing is not so good (-2)
Pros: The main riff sounded good (+2)

So there you go, just a few things to work on. A slight suggestion though to help you improve: Learn some basic music theory, it can really help.
So final scores
2/5 (-2.15)
4/10