well.....

The vocal parts are cool, and I like the beginning of the track, but it is so disjointed and lacks any rhythmn. I guess you've used fruityloops and stuck a load of drum sounds together without thinking how they sound to other people. Those hissy hi-hats are quite annoying. It's a good initial idea, but I think you should try starting a trk with a simple beat, then add simple melodies/rhythmns and your cool vox to complement the beats. This tune stresses me out, but there are moments or greatness in there. Keep things simple. Cheers for your review of Squareyes and i left an answer to your question . Take it easy,

Kingbastard