It sounds pretty good, some spots need work but for the most part it is okay. Keep practicing!
well I agree with the other people you should work on it more before posting it. seems farmiliar for some reason
its a nice riff, but needs work. its kinda choppin wen u change phrases. (as advice keep practicing this stuff until its perfect b4 u post, or ur gonna get ripped on)
y did u call it heavy metal
its ok but not that great, and it dosnt go anywhere and it kinda sux