As others have said
The lyrics are solid. The beat is well sampled. You just need to feel the beat and add some emotion to your voice. That and work on your flow a bit more. Keep at it thoug, you'll get it man
I totally agree wth wut da guy said....Ya need to feel the beats and try to make ur voice reflect da topic ya talkin abt....Generally its good, and da lyrics are nice....try to focus on da vocal side next tam. Good Luck man, Peace.
This is actually really good
Well...the lyrics are lol. To be honest you basically have to "feel" what you're spittin'. If it's regret/sorrow/etc., let it be felt with your voice. If it's anger/angst/rage/etc. let it come out. You can't sound angry if you're talking in your normal voice. Same thing with this, you can't project the emotions of confusion and bitterness (sorrow, regret) if you're speaking in your regular voice.
I'd say practice it out loud with different sounding voices, see what sounds right to you. Listen to some tracks that have a similar theme to see how their voice sounds and try to emulate it. I started out the same way with my voice, but found what people were talking about when they said "The listener can't FEEL what you're saying, can't picture walking in your shoes, if you're speaking normally. Put some EMOTION behind it."
The lyrics are on point, so just work on the vocals fam.
I take it this is from the band A-Ha? You really got the feeling of their song into this remake of it.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.