May use it

Listen, i've been making a new flash and I would like to add this piece to the music. It's just perfect, anyways, it will only apear the first two or three seconds

Doesn't work...

This sounds like the sort of stuff I've been writing lately. :3

The harshest problem is repetition - ie, the fact this is essentially the same 2 bars repeating over and over. Changing the instrumentation alone isn't really enough to break a piece up, so it gets boring quickly. I know I tend to fall into this trap myself, there's a couple of peices I haven't put up for exactly that reason.

Best way I've found to avoid falling into that trap is to put a hard limit on yourself. For example, if I've got the same part playing for more than 16 bars I'll cut it at 16 and try something different. A lot ends up on the cutting room floor so to speak, but it helps in the long wrong.

The other problems are easier to fix, but easier to get wrong in the first place.

The balance is off - where the piano is panned all the way to the left, there's nothing much to balance it back out on the right which makes the whole piece feel lopsided. Those of us that like their headphones will notice that one more.

There's also some clipping on the bass drum.

Long story short : it needs work.

On the positive side : I can see where you're trying to go with this. The floating fortress levels and bowsers castle from SMB3 come to mind the most. Keep at it, and see where you go. :D

-Malt