I haven't heard the original...
But I will give you my advice anyway :D
This sounds pretty hawt. But... yeah, those synths are a bit loud. So loud, that the drums are a bit in the background D: We can't have that!! XDD Bring out those sexy drums. Bass sounds pretty awesome too, mate.
Oh, and while on the topic of drums, I noticed that this sounds like an FPC sample. Brah, you need some Amen Breaks in there! It would totally sound better :3 Cool fade out by the by. I could jam to this for a good while, but then I'd get a little bit bored because the beat is pretty much the same for the entire song. You did pretty good, nonetheless!! :D Just gotta keep workin' at it, kay buddy? Keep it going!
~[IZK]