You asked for critique in the audio forum

I don't think music theory wise that this is entirely bad -- up to 31. What's going on is that you have your chords down REALLY low in the piano register. You said everything is in the same key, and I can hear that. What's happening is that the low notes are clashing with one another because of register, not because of tonality.

I also love jazz, so those "wrong notes" coming in toward the outro are actually my favorite part of the song.

Try writing less congested chords (not so many notes) if you want to write in the lower register, and if you like them being congested, try moving parts up 12 semitones (1 octave) and see if you still think they don't fit. That's all I got.

Also, this track is really quiet. Try learning a bit about mastering while you're at it. A simple boost in volume and a brick wall limiter would suit well in the case of this track, which is not very complex. The volume level to me is more off putting than anything you did compositionally. I think it's okay!