Transcript:

Narrator: Death. It’s a pretty bad thing to happen to anyone.

Sunday October 8th. Death had come knocking on poor Sarah Kyle’s door. Well, less “knocking” and more “hit square in the forehead by a falling stone”. Tough break. 

It had been a week since she’d died and now I was at her funeral. 

I was heading toward the middle row. 

I didn’t know her that well but it just seemed right to sit around there-

Guy At Funeral: “Hey Kelly!”

Kelly: “Huh? Wha-?”

Guy At Funeral: “Must be hittin’ ya hard huh? How’d you know Sarah?” 

Kelly: ”Oh.. uh, we had a couple of classes together…”

Narrator: English, Social Studies.. I can’t really remember right now.

Guy At Funeral: “Same. She was in my Photography class. Hey, see you in math!” 

Kelly: ”Shoot!”

Narrator: I forgot about the test…

Speaker: 

“Huh-Hem. We are gathered here today to pay respects to our beloved student, daughter, friend.. Sarah Kyle. I’d like to thank everybody for turning out…”

Narrator: You know what’s worse than Funerals? COLLEGE Funerals! 

Just, any funeral where you’re in a school setting. It’s Awful, It’s Awkward, 

And I hope this isn’t in poor taste, I’m almost kinda glad Sarah’s not here to see this. Really! A couple of real creeps turned up. Like her ex, Duncan, Eugh! 

Like they say, she’s in a better place now.

~

Tess: ”Hey Kelly.”

Kelly: ”Oh.. Hey Tess..”

Tess: ”Pretty rough huh, Carly a couple of weeks ago, and now Sarah. Poor guys-”

Kelly: ”I don’t wanna talk about it...”

Narrator: I decided to head back to my room to cool off.

~

Repairman: “Hey!”

Kelly: ”Oh, Hey...”

Narrator: Ugh… Those Repairmen have only been working in our hallway for 4 days, and already they’ve overstayed their welcome. How long does it take to fix a vent anyway?

Max: “Yo Yo Yo Yo! What is UP MadLads! It’s ya boi Max with the leet deetz…”

Kelly: ”sigh..”

Narrator: Boy is right. Max is my irritating Roommate. He shouts into his webcam, day in, day out, making the most obnoxious content to ever grace the face of the internet. 

He doesn’t even play Video Games! He just does these really obnoxious “Challenges”. 

Unfortunately, The School stopped him from doing the really dangerous challenges, like; “The Swallow Gunpowder Challenge”, or “The Toilet Jenga Challenge”. So he’s just reduced to crap like Drama Videos, Commentaries, and worst of all…

Max: “SMASH OR PASS! That’s right MadLads! Smash or Pass Sundays is back once again! As always, Drop some Girls in chat and prepare to be Rankified! I’ll be right back, stay Mad!”

Kelly: ”Hey nerd. I brought us some finger food from the funeral.”

Max: “Ahh yo! Did they have Sliders?”

Kelly: ”..Eat up pig-”

Max: “Y’know, I’m real sorry I couldn’t make it to the Funeral, Sarah’s hot! You know I'd smash…”

Kelly: ”Shut up sicko! You need a filter!”

Max: “NO FILTER BEEATCH!”

Kelly: ”Ugh!”

Max: “mM!, actually, if you’re offering, I need you to moderate my chat for the next part of the stream. Dan’s parents grounded him for helping me make that Omegle video.”

Narrator: You don’t wanna know.

Kelly: ”sigh.. Sure, I guess. I got nothing else to do today. ”

Narrator: I got out of my funeral getup into some cozy, outdoorsy clothes. I wasn’t gonna stay in here and turn into a Vitamin-D deficient Zombie like Max.

Narrator: I made myself comfortable in my favourite seat in the Boulevard, under the giant Oak Tree. No-one really comes back here, which I like. No-one was around to see what kind of degeneracy I was about to partake in…

Max: “And we are back my MadLads! Let Smash or Pass Sundays commence! 

We got my girl Kelly moderating the chat today, Dan’s gonna be back in a few, once his parents ease up on him.” 

Kelly: ”Taking Dan away from Max should make them parents of the year… ”

Narrator: -I say under my breath. Y’know, up until now I've never actually watched one of Max’s godawful streams. I’ll say one thing, he’s charismatic, I guess. It was your standard lineup for one of these lists. You had your Video Game Dames and your 14-Year Old Anime chicks. I’ll bet he only knows these franchises for the girls, the poser. 

Max: “Mmm.. Keiko? Nah, Pass man, pass. Uh.. Dakota.. Hmm.. I gotta pass on that too..”

Narrator: Geez, Max has pretty high standards. This is like, 98% Pass so far. There were only a couple of people in chat so moderating wasn’t too tough. 

Max: “Ok! Third category, let’s check out the hotties at my school!”

Kelly: ”WHAT?”

Narrator: WHAT? He’s been ranking girls from school? The little creep!

Max: “Tess?, Pass. Helen? Ooh ho ho, Hard pass. Janet? Hmm… ”

Narrator: I was still reeling at that little pervert. These girls don’t know they’re part of his sick videos! I didn’t even- 

Max: “Lana? Oooh… Smash! ”

Kelly: ”AH!”

Narrator: AH!

Kelly: ”WHAT WAS THAT?!”

Narrator: WHAT WAS- ah, hm. 

Ahem. 

I ran over to the shop class to investigate the crash. I was horrified at what I saw…

Tess: ”What’s happening?”

Kelly: ”TESS CALL AN AMBULANCE, LANA’S BEEN CAUGHT IN THE PRESS!”

Tess: ”Ah!”

Kelly: *Grunting noises as she tries to remove Lana from the press*

Narrator: This is nuts! Max calls her out on stream and she dies! Wait a second.. These streams have been a regular thing.. Was he related to all these deaths… these… murders? I heard Tess’ name and she’s fine, so it’s whenever… has he said my name yet?!

Medic: “Where’s the girl?”

Kelly: ”RIGHT THERE! GET HER OUT, GET THE JAWS OF LIFE OR SOMETHING!”

Medic: “Dear god…”

Narrator: I had to tell Max. He couldn’t have been.. Responsible? Could he? I had to stop him. Even if he didn’t know, I couldn’t risk it. No more girls were going to die because of-

Max: “Kelly.”

Narrator: My blood ran cold.

Max: “Even though she’s my roommate, and she can get annoying-.”

Kelly: ”No, no, no no-”

Narrator: No No NO!

Kelly: ”I MADE I-”

Max: “I’d still smash.”

Repairman: “Hey HEY WATCH IT!.”

-

Credits:

@MunchJrGames Everyone else's Voice acting, General Production, audio editing, and sound design

@PlongoYT Narrator Voice acting

@snufflecat Tess Voice acting and music tracks

@decaffcoffee Kelly Landers Voice acting and art