You know, I almost was completely unable to give critique for your piece. Jazz is not entirely my purview. If anything, I might change out the snare on those drums. The piece is a bit short and that is my only gripe. But given that theme, it's to be expected. Chord progressions are positively spicy

You have a decent set of jazz chords here, and you make a good use of transposing. However, it feels overused throughout the work. I think ending some of that down-going mini-progressions the other way (maybe a fast arp on the chord tones, or even another chord?) would work. In my opinion, the composition lacks the harmonic development. Although everything seems well-connected, some small changes are still needed, like adding more chord variance, without just transposing or inversing 7th chords or moving its highest notes.

As for main melody, I really like the first 20 seconds, as there are many sudden pauses and down-going sequences, and it fits the theme really well. The rest of it, however, feels a bit forced. There are many modulations, and the melody itself is complex, but it there is not enough progression. I think adding pauses, like you did in intro, or sudden tempo/rhythm changes could make that part better suited. I wouldn't complain much if the track was longer, but it actually more that a half of the song. Also, the end of the song is kinda akward, like... it could be more theme-oriented, a less-logical end could be a bit more interesting here. Otherwise, the composition itself is good, my main complaints are about the structuring and harmonization.

I don't have much to say about the instrumentation, it's ok. There is nothing unusual in the arragement, but it doesn't need to be. My only wish is that rhodes could be panned a bit further, as the mix is pretty tight. As for mixing, the rhodes are a little loud, especially at the end, and the snare sounds a bit out of the mix. I would also add more reverb to the drums, but it's unnecesarry.

Overall, you did a good job with this track. I really liked the idea, and the writing is complex and interesting. There are some composition and structuring details that I didn't like, but it's my throughts, you can disagree with it. Hope that was helpful, good luck at the next round!

I really dig it

very fun and definitely fits your intentions