I think if you had another synth besides piano, or perhaps more atmospheric effects such as vinyl, pitch warbling, chorus, etc, this would sound a lot better. As is, I'm not sure it really fits in hip-hop beyond the hi-hats.

The panning of piano is a bit disorienting. You could use more complex instrumentation throughout rather than fitting both melody and harmony into the piano roll.

However, I know there is a market out there for this sort of music. It fits in with the sort of Undertale aesthetic. And I know for a fact you worked hard on it judging by the percussion and key changes.

Keep trying until you nail the type of music you really love, that you never thought possible. I've been doing this for 15 years, and every once in a while I surprise myself. I have no doubt that if you stick with it, you will go even farther :)