Dear God, He's BEHIND ME! I can't seem to run fast enough, and I'm just waiting to feel the chainsaw rip, rip, rip, through my back. I can't look back again, it was too terrifying a sight. Robes dyed red, blood spewing from his chainsaw as he revved it menacingly at me. And then I could not run anymore. He kicked me in the back and I yelled in pain and fell to the floor, on my back. I felt the chainsaw start shattering my skull apart...then nothing.
-Jesus Chainsaw Massacre
(A TRUE HISTORY)