The rhythm is not observed and because of this the meaning is lost. Perhaps it's a matter of taste or such a genre, I don't want to offend with this. In general, I liked it, it sounds interesting.
Author Comments
I edited and upgraded the song for a music competition im in. I hope it works out :P
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Darkkit10 
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![43 (Burning Skies) [Alternate Demo]](https://aicon.ngfiles.com/1317/1317385_medium.webp?f1714129224)
