I would want to hear a final cut from this. It has a lot of interesting elements to it, some of which work for me and some that I am more ambivalent about. After giving it some thought, I think my problem with this project lies mostly on your drum sample selection and song structure.

For example, it sounds like you're wanting the track to really explode at :54. If that is your goal, then may I suggest looking into making the dynamics a little quieter right before it crescendos? A subtle change in volume of the mix can go a long way in making :54 really pop out. This is just one idea that I feel would be more effective than using a reverse cymbal and keeping the melodies playing at the same level.

And the drum samples are a bit too punchy for something like this, in my opinion. They sound like they belong in a dance track. For this kind of project, I would look for something that fits more comfortably with the instrumentation and is less in-your-face. As it sounds now, they are more distracting than complimenting.

I would be remiss to not mention that these melodies are so on point. They have a lot of life in them, and there is enough variation between sections to keep them interesting. Love em.

So that's just a couple of my thoughts on this. I would really like to see this revisited soon because it has a number of really cool things going for it. Hope to see more work from you!