I think there’s a few things you have going for you, but it’s a tad rough around the edges. I especially like what you have going on at the end

Generally feels like it has a pretty long intro. I don’t know if that was your intention but it’s not until you have your harp that comes in at 1:33 that I feel like the intro has ended. Not quite half of your song, but that’s already a minute out of a 4 minute work that felt like it was a lead up. Other things I notice with your composition, the title says it’s a march but it doesn’t feel like what I would have normally considered a march. It feels a lot more ambient than what I would expect. I think melodically (outside of the arpeggiation that you introduce at the 1:33) it’s all very slow. I guess it could be something that was intended to be suspenseful, but I didn’t get the sense of a melody as compared to chords changing at certain intervals. If I were doing this, I’d probably go in a few different directions depending on what your intention was. If it was supposed to be more structured I would have had some melodic theme to latch on to and developed that more. If it was a more ambient approach I would probably take out the bass drum and cymbal and have a lot more focus on dynamics and sound shaping. Making things have more tonal characteristics.

As I touched on dynamics a little, I think with how you have the song now you’re missing some important humanization in your more organic/acoustic instruments. Since it’s in a slower style you want things to sway or swell more to give more movement to each note. I can hear some of it with some strings at 1:42, but the harp is playing constant volumes which isn’t realistic, and the flute especially at 2:11 could have benefited from some dynamic changes in each note and some vibrato. Other than that though the balancing is okay for the most part I think. You might have too many mid frequency instruments happening but either changing up how you’re layering your parts or paying close attention to your EQ would help that.

I don’t think this is bad. I know I’ve pointed out probably more of what I don’t like compared to what I do like, but I wouldn’t call this a bad attempt. Maybe unrefined, but this is only your first year of making music (at the time I’m writing this) so I know you’ll be making more progress as you go.