". . . Hello?"

Eh, yeah, not the more fun one, nor really sensible one, but just kinda something wanted to get out there.

Not sure what it is about June that seems to get me all moody and stuff. Most likely reason is the start of it lands another nail to my coffin and I get way too introspective about my existence.

It's kinda hard not to feel for Ed Wood. Or at least the Tim Burton movie version of him. Saw it first time last year, and found some interesting stuff about it, on thoughts on what inspires art and artistic vision, and mirroring some things about the man himself. Still, watching at what came from the end result even with the passion he had, I sometimes can't help but wonder if on occasion I have a same sort of a problem towards things I produce.

Around FA, it sometimes takes me a small moment to conjure up like on my own works that aren't commissioned. In IB, Twitter and NG I've never really hit double digit on likes/faves, and on Itaku I've gotten zero reactions to my works at all. Hell, sometimes even NG is like that, and after a small while it almost starts to feel persona.

Views I get, for sure, but it's a god sent if I even get something joking in comments, let alone knowing if I did anything right or wrong in my pieces. Just left to wonder with 20 to 200 views and at best 7 likes pondering why my things doesn't even get some passing stranger to tell me that I suck to at least confirm that much.

I mean, suppose it is a good thing that hasn't happened, but being ignored still kinda stings. Things don't even help that I am having a hard time choosing what sort of things I should be focusing on. Got interests in writing, photography, took a course in game making and been constantly thinking if I should try to return to that, maybe learn composing programs, try more with making videos (hell, what language videos?), all the while I am still pondering what the hell I should be doing. I know I'm not going to try game streaming again, that ship has sailed ages ago. Even if I do that again, it'll be just to get something in it's fullest.

So, that's pretty much the only thing I can do for the time being. Throw messages in a bottle into the ocean, and hope they land on someone who doesn't just throw it into the trash. Well, at least the deserted island I'm on has a glass bottle factory with a lot of sand, a paper factory with endless trees, and a lead mine to make writing utensils.

Yeah, not all that funny pages stuff.

Oh well, Orwell. Next one will be better.

Also, how'd you like the new self-insert OC? How long do you think it'll take until I abandon that one as well?