Hey, I never type descriptions usually nor do I really give any insight into myself other than posting my art and responding to comments. However, this page means a lot to me and has the largest archive of my art across any platform I post.

So I thought I'd let the people who like my art and care about the themes in my pieces know what's happening and why I haven't been making art.

Most of my art is vent art that I use to document my feelings. I have Ptsd and probably other stuff too, I didn't get far into my treatment to know. I've been subject to many really unsavory things in my life such as SA and abuse. I didn't want to use my platform to put my feelings into words because I felt that I wouldn't be taken seriously as an artist if I told people about my art. I guess for Irl, that was definitely the case, but I've always kept the show don't tell attitude with a lot of things in my life. Unfortunately, that attitude has only really left me isolated and unheard, which also hurts obviously.

Recently, within the past 3 years, I have had major life changes almost constantly happening. This past year, I moved in with my girlfriend and she's the most amazing person I've ever met. She's so kind, and beautiful through and through. I've always longed for love and I finally have it with her. However, my mental health has been on a downward slope despite many positive changes in my life.

These past 3 weeks I've been struggling with thoughts of suicide.

I don't feel like I deserve anything I have. I'm a loser who doesn't actually know how to do anything. I'm useless, the things I make are nothing more than trash. My mental illness has caused me to lose people, and hurt people. I don't mean to, but sometimes intentions aren't important. I've isolated myself from pretty much everyone, and I'm scared. Mental health services where I live, are expensive and also, subject to bias.

I don't want to sit here and complain and trauma dump.

I don't plan on ending my life, but I constantly think about it.

I'm sorry for such a long post. If you read this,

Thank you.

You've been amazing just reading this. I'm sorry if this is our introduction.