Doktor Schmuck is the last schlub you want to see as you count back from ten. With a blue-ish hue on his silky rough skin, and fat purple crusted lips that continue flaking no matter how much chapstick is globbed on, the GOOD DOKTOR always ensures his patients’ well-being. That is, until he actually starts operating on you and his bleached white medical gown turns stark red (sometimes brown)! Have a boo boo? Don’t worry, Doktor Schmuck will remove your brain and stick you back up. Stubbed your toe? Time for an amputation! Equipped with the mind of a twelve year old child and the power of extreme IBS, this mal-practicing practitioner just might save your life while making sure you’re hanging by a thread (which he might just pull)!

[Submitted for Spooky Month!]