(In the Simpsons' house, specifically Bart's room, Milhouse looks on the computer)

Milhouse: I don't see what Scratchy's getting out of this. That looks painful.

Bart: (Walks in)Hey, Milhouse, the explosive ketchup-bottles are ready. We've got 9 minutes before-AAAAH! What the hell is that!?

Milhouse: Bart, I can explain!

Bart: Milhouse, why did I just see Itchy and Scratchy's heads on hairy, woman bodies?

Milhouse: It's an animation I found online, I wanted to see how it ends but my parents walked in and chainsawed my computer!

Bart: (Grabs Milhouse by the shoulders and shakes him)Milhouse, listen to me! We watch Itchy and Scratchy every single day. How am I going to watch my wholesome saturday morning cartoons with this in my mind!?

Milhouse: (Points to the (very censored) computer screen)Didn't you walk in on your parents doing that?

Bart: Yes, but somehow, this scars me even deeper.

Lisa: (Walks in)Will you two keep quiet!? I'm trying to-OH HELL NO! WHY! WHY!?

Milhouse: I swear, it's not what it looks like!

Bart: Yeah, he's the one who looked it up!

Lisa: Mom! Bart and Milhouse are watching Itchy and Scratchy P-O-R-N!

(Cuts to Homer, Marge, and Lisa on the couch)

Marge: Oh dear heavens!(Gets up and stops Maggie from following)No, you stay down here and keep your mind clean!(Runs upstairs)

Cartoon Man On the TV Voiced By Krusty: No, Itchy, don't use the blood-eagle on Scratchy! It's one of the most horrifying, brutal, mentally scarring punishments ever used and we are not responsible for your children looking it up!(It's where vikings rip your ribs and lungs out. There, I just told you, now you don't need to see what it is)

Homer: I hate it when she uses codewords.(Long awkward silence)Wait a minute. P-O-

(Cut to Marge and the kids upstairs)

Marge: Bart, Milhouse, what would possess you to look up such appalling smut!?

Bart: Hey, I do a lot of weird stuff, but this is beyond my limit! I walked in and saw Milhouse gawking at it!

Milhouse: I swear, this isn't a regular thing!

Marge: Then why is it on my son's computer, in his room, on the second floor of our house!?

Milhouse: Would you believe me if I said it involved a chainsaw?

Homer: (Runs in)STOP EVERYTHING! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING BO-Whoa, why is her spine like that? Why can the cat bend its spine in a perfect U-turn but everytime I tried that with Bart's action figures, they break?

Bart: Excuse me?

Homer: Don't change the subject, Boy, this is about cat porn. We don't need annoying distractions.

Ned: (Down the hall)Hidely ho, Neighborino!

Homer: Damn everything.

Ned: I was stoppin' by to get my lawnmower back and I saw Maggie alone downstairs and I got worri-Sweet pearly gates, what in the sweet Song of Solomon is that!?

Homer: Itchy and Scratchy porn.

Ned: I know what it is, but why!?

Marge: Somebody in this room looked it up.

Ned: I see.(Kneels down to level with Bart)Look, Barthalomew, I understand you're reaching that age where you look at girls and think new, gross things, but you're still too young to be looking at that stuff.

Bart: This is genuinely the worst conversation I've ever heard in my life.

Maude: Sweetie, what are you doing up here?

Homer: We're staring at Itchy and Scratchy porn.

Maude: ...(Silently backs away while Ned facepalms)

Marge: Somebody here is gonna have a stern talk with their parents. Now do I need to call them or are they arleady here?

Bart: Mom, look at me. I've done things. Awful things. Awful, hilarious things. But I'd never look up this stuff. Even the greatest forces of chaos require standards. Do I look like someone who would look up this stuff!?

Marge: Hm, alright.

Homer: Bart, I'm sorry for doubting you.

Milhouse: I swear, I only wanted to see how it ended!

Homer: Milhouse, I'm sorry for doubting you.(Lisa nudges him)

(Wiggum bursts in)

Wiggum: Alright, hands up! Where's the smut!?

Marge: Why are you in my house!?

(Reverand Lovejoy peers in)

Lovejoy: Mrs. Flanders called us.(Holds up a very sharp crucifix)Would you like me to stab the computer now or do you need a moment?

Wiggum: Marge, why are you all looking at Itchy and Scratchy Obliterate the Ravager of Universion?

Marge: It has a title!?

Wiggum: Yeah, a crossover fanwork of Itchy and Scratchy and the Ravager of Universion. It was particularly infamous in certain circles of the web for its blatant gramitical errors, defilement of canon with no feasible reason for the massive changes to how the world works, the giant sections of author's notes that rag on about about haters and how they should die, the over-the-top gore and violation scenes, and the, heheh, 'questionable anatomy' as you can clearly see. Also, its writer touched kids.

Homer: Come on, Ravager of Universion!? It's a miserable, exploitative slog full of cliche character archetypes that were better left back in the 90's, gratuitious use of R, N, and U-words, and a very skeeby view of women. In the first episode alone, a woman is shot to death and falls to the floor in a manner to show off both her boobies and her butt, as if we are supposed to ignore the fact that it's a corpse! The main villain is made to resemble a Nazi in every sense of the word, and yet he not only gets away with his horrid crimes, but gets a happy ending and a redemption, becoming the best friend of the main character even though the woman that died in the first episode by his hand was the protagonist's wife!(Everybody turns to stare at Homer)

Marge: Anyway, so you're saying this image is based on a story?

Wiggum: Yeah, by a user called ShelbyvilleShocker.

Bart: Right, of course they're responsible for this.

Wiggum: It's not just an image, it's a whole animation.

Marge: There's more of that!?

Homer: Yeah, it's just on pause, see?(Unpauses it)

(Everyone else in the room screams)

(As Ned, Wiggum, and Lovejoy burn the computer in the backyard, Marge and Homer talk on the table)

Marge: (Burying her face in her hands)To think someone just over a mountain-range is poisoning our children's innocence. It's enough to make a woman cry.

Homer: I know the feeling, Marge, and I have the perfect solu-

Marge: I'm not drinking to forget this.

Homer: You didn't even let me finish.

Marge: Does your answer to this in any way include destroying our braincells with alcohol?

Homer: ...(Buries his face in his hands)I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Marge: To think my own children were so close to something so evil. The internet was made for things like online communication and horrifying fusions of cats and pop-tarts farting rainbows, but now it's used so a cat can get an entire cannon shoved up his-Oh forget it, pour me one.

Homer: Well, okay then, but the first law of sorrow drowning, don't do anything stupid.(Marge, Ned, Lovejoy, and Wiggum all glace at him)...(Grumpily pours on glass)Oh, shut up. I hear what your eyes are thinking.

Marge: Hm, just one, I suppose. It's been a long night.

(Cuts to Marge on a hijacked News channel)

Marge: This is a message to the people of Shelbyville! There is a nuclear cannon fashioned from scrapped Krustyland parts aimed at your local power plant! In 9 minutes, it will go off, cleansing your cursed land of all animal smut and saving future generations from your degeneracy! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Cuts to the people of Springfield watching her announcement, then all of them, old and young, kind and cruel, all turn to look at Homer, because they all know, even though Marge is the one on TV threatening a blackout, that somehow, some way, this is still his fault)

Homer: I will be the first to admit, certain mistakes were made by certain people tonight.

  I said before that I don't think kids should be on social media sites for many reasons. One of them being that there's some gross stuff out there and not all of it is age-restricted. I recall as a kid, I thought I found a cute Mr. Men Show animation. Then Mr. Happy got shot in a drive-by. There was a needle in the background that I thought was just a swine flu shot. I was so innocent back then. Also Lisa has a hoodie here because...I don't know, hoodies symbolize a feeling of seperation from the people around them? This is all inspired by some TF2 15.ai skits online, like this.

Do not steal.

All characters belong to their respective owners/creators.

The Simpsons(c)Fox, Disney, Matt Groening