It's good but not too reminiscient...
It's good, has one defect (like has been said below) but my biggest problemo was that I can't quite connect this to any of the three location scenarios given. It doesn't sound like a cave (that would need plenty of echoes), it doesn't sound like a creepy place (not too dissimilar but still not quite there), and while I have no experience with military bases (except for one: Wright Patterson Air Force Base, which has a military aviation museum which I used to frequent as a kid, going there once every two summers to just hang around with my future (still in the future) front office, and constantly checking out the WW2 bombers (I really liked the part where everyone put in their two cents to kick Japan's @$$ but that's probably more due to my being Chinese American than having to do anything with my interest in military history) and the fighter simulations. I've always wanted to be a fighter pilot, but now I think I might settle for being a Special Operations pilot. Still, given my experience with Wright Patterson AFB, I can't say this sounds too much like a military base.
Not to say what NG members currently sacrificing life and limb for your freedoms would think about it (so don't take this personally since it's coming from a college student who hasn't graduated yet and who only WANTS TO become a military officer...is not one yet... since the real military dudes on NG would not be too happy with something that doesn't fit their POV of military life...)
Good work, I gave you an eight, but I think you should seriously reconsider what location scenario to give your piece.
I downloaded your piece to my Walkman in case you wanted to know...