My absolute favorite thing about this track is how it tells a story, not with words or letters on a page, but with music.
Your overall composition is strong, and goes hand in hand with the more ambient part of the story, and I think my main complaint is that those ambient sound effects, while being a key part of the storytelling, they end up taking too much aural real estate, at times drowning out the subtler musical themes found herein. Long story short, sometimes I feel as though the sound effects are too loud within the overall mix. When the music becomes softer, I would have liked the ambient sections to follow suit and be a bit softer within the mix, as well.
As others have mentioned already, those intro strings just don't really do your composition justice, and some of the other instruments lack that same credibility. But hey, I also understand that we can't all produce music with top-shelf, high-quality instrument bundles, so that's not honestly much of a factor in my case.
The general feel of your track is one of a hard and lonely life, and the conclusion is of course one of finite existence, mortality. The heart beating harder and faster towards its sudden silence exudes a sobering image of finality. On the other hand, the sound of the heart violently bursting actually feels less poignant, due to its less symbolic nature.
After that, the track ends rather abruptly, which does make sense as it pertains to the Lonely Hermit's solitary life. That said, it would have been a perfect opportunity for a brief requiem of sorts, made even more solemn by the complete lack of ambient sound. While life is indeed fertile ground for music, so too is death.
8.4 out of 10