Love that you did this all by yourself, seems like you have a kink for these adventurer stories, and although I had wished for some interactive gameplay...
This was worthwhile and it is a rather touching story...
Few things I wished I had seen in this were..
-Different scenes (it would have given a better impact to viewers of the situation, as well as introductions)
-Flashbacks
-Various artsy background _after each day's end (to complement the atmosphere, during text.. could have even done it in a bubble dialog form)
-Googly eyes (maybe not)
I loved your writing, the short story was neat.. the build up from the start was a little bit slow
Have you thought of partnering with others to make a great and interesting game?
Would love to see a short interactive game with your scripts!
PS. If you had such games made before please mail me them, I'd like to check them out :)