The concept was good, but...
The animation was far too chunky. Don't speed your story along, let it unfold at it's own pace. If you have to, and if the story/concept is strong enough, you could span this out over several episodes! Hey, why not? Allow for some charachter development... the genisis of the enemy faction in the story wasn't all that clear, so why not dwell on that a bit, perhaps with this Crow overseeing the evil they do, feeding on it in addition to his own pain? If you keep at it, I'm sure you could come up with a kick ass portal entry in time! Don't give up, refine your idea, smooth it out and go for it!