This could make a great series.
The short was good, but some minor changes could have been made to make the graphics more realistic. Such as the rain, smaller pieces of dark gray thin strands, instead of long white. This, unfortunately would have wound up adding more kb to your size, but 750 is not bad at all. I think this could make a great series if you expand on the idea. I do write scripts, not one yet for a newgrounds (Kind of a new idea I guess), I could offer more of a storyline, but I would guess (Like most people on Newgrounds) would not want a sort of script or lengthy series. But available.