Dude, I'm loving these monologues. Even though your storytelling is so consistent, I am repeatedly caught off guard by your one-liners or analogies. And, I also remember drawing an entire chart of every single Goldeneye 007 gun in 2nd grade, gluing computer paper together in a giant square and sitting in front of the N64 on that green pause "badass spy watch" screen. I named my class snail "Roadkill" as well after a character from Twisted Metal (having no idea what roadkill actually meant), and to this day I remember that absolutely horrified look on my teacher's face.