I thought this was pretty cool. It needs to be longer though, and you should make some more outcomes if you pick the wrong option. Other than that, I like it!
Reviews for "Afterlife"
Eeveechaaaan responds:
I will keep that in mind and will most likely come back to improve this game in the future. Thanks for the feed back! :D
Ouch, you're not going to get very far if you release games that you think are bad! Try to articulate what you don't like about them, then work on fixing the problems. If you don't, the game ends up looking less like a labor of love and more like a neglected 3.7 megabytes. And that's a shame because what you've produced simply doesn't do justice to the effort you've put in.
I very much want to see you improve, and it's obvious you do as well. Here's how to get there:
== Writing ==
"You wake up in a forest with no recollection of how you got there."
Amnesia might seem like a good idea, and it might even turn out to be a great plot device, but the way you've used it here just doesn't work. The game never even hints at the events that took place beforehand. Forgive the pun, but if you're going to start with amnesia, you can't just forget about it! Add some flashbacks, dialogue, or physical clues to the game -- really anything that hints at what went on before the player started watching.
"You come across a tree and it seems like you can only go either of two ways..."
The problem with this is that I just clicked on the button to follow a path. Where is the path here? It's as if the path is forgotten about alongside the amnesia. If there really is a tree growing in the middle of the path, then that raises all sorts of difficult questions. You need to connect each scene better so that it feels like one continuous story.
"You didn't see the 'person' in the tree, they turned you into one of their own."
There's not nearly enough description of these "others" to leave any kind of impression. If they are supposed to be symbolic, and this story is supposed to be allegorical, then you'd be much better off if you gave at least a tiny hint as to what they represent. If they don't represent anything, then all the bland anonymity just makes for a poor villain. Running away from amorphous gray blobs isn't as terrifying as you might have hoped.
One more thing about writing: you need more. More description, more characters, more dialogue, more conflict. All of this depends on the work in question, of course, but you might consider using a more traditional plot structure. One with exposition, rising action, climax, and all those high-falutin' literary terms.
== Art ==
The interface... I know you can do better than this! The background, the text, and the bullet point things are all solid colors and don't really collaborate at all to create a distinctive style. Try going for a theme or a feeling, and get rid of the massive areas of solid color.
The scene illustrations would be better if they were supplemented by better descriptions. Using ambiguous illustration is supposed to be a catalyst of the imagination. Unfortunately, there's really nothing in the art or writing that sparks any element of the imagination, so all the player is left with is a crude looking drawing and an incomplete understanding of what you wanted to express. It'd also pay to spend more time on the illustrations, like using a non-repeating door texture.
A final note about the art: it's way too static, there's no interactivity. Not even the buttons change when you click them or run your mouse across them. Also, each scene appears instantly. It'd look much better if the picture appeared first, then the descriptive text appears incrementally, like it's being written in front of my eyes. Finally, my choices would appear below. You may be surprised at much good that would do.
== Sound ==
The music was nice, but it sounded like it belonged at the very end of the game, when you reach the door and open it. I can imagine it playing in the background while an ending animation is playing, then continuing into the credits. A more aggressive song would go better with the chase scene and a more ambient track would go better with the forest. Also, sound effects would go a long way.
== Conclusion ==
You've earned two stars from me, and a bunch of good will for your efforts to improve. Learn to look critically at your own work and you'll improve even faster!
Eeveechaaaan responds:
Thanks for the feedback! It really helps with future Flash Game making. Unfortunately, much of a plot device/narrative could not be implemented in, due to the fact we had a limited amount of time to complete the unit (alongside other units we had to complete too) because of this, I ended up running out of time to create a back story which I was initially going to add after you went through the door. (hopefully when I gain more knowledge I will come back to this and improve on this even more!)
I know I can do better with the artwork; it was my first time really doing digital art from scratch as, again, it was a factor of time D: we were given a few months to create this. I wanted this to be super simple for me to do as last year in my college course while doing animation, I found it difficult and kept running into problems because I made an overly complicated concept for myself and I didn't want to repeat that stress again, especially after dealing with the files corrupting it's self!
Thanks again for the feed back, it was very helpful as well as the very pleasant approach towards what could be changed and improved! Hopefully I will be back in the future with vast improvements! :)