I really see some promise in your work. Hopefully you will improve and have room to grow as an animator.
Reviews for "The Moon Guardian"
Tyler responds:
thats the plan, thanks man
Really great animation. The story was great, original and positively bursting with creativity! The animation was also well done, although the art isn't the smoothest it certainly has its own style going for it and looks great. The voice acting was top notch and really added some life to the characters. The music was also well done, complimenting the scenes perfectly. Great job with this, this really is something to be proud of.
Art style is ok. I'm not blown away by the animations but it's good in places. The background art is very nice. My real problem is the dialogue and story. Can the author please look up the term 'expository dialogue' and reflect that the entire verbal content of this short animation is a prime example of it. As for the content. It's very common and lazy to invent a character who's destined - in this case by descent - to fulfill a role that satisfies the ending. This is usually how an unimaginative author avoids having to think of ways for the main character to learn or overcome something. The result is that we can't identify with the main character. Lastly, it is very tiring (and obviously the result of playing too many games rather than reading books) that the character is given a magic trinket which enables them to fulfill their role. This relieves the author of having to give the protagonist any dramatic ark, since he/she can just lose the trinket and then find it again. A basic way of creating drama in a story is to put the protagonist in a situation where he/she is forced to act in a way that he/she normally wouldn't. You can give them a choice where neither outcome is to their liking. You can put them in a role where they're a fish out of water. You can have them investigate something or find something out which puts them in danger. Once you have a character handing another character a key or a torch or an amulet which is destined to save the world, rip the script up and go for a walk. Practice makes perfect. Think long and hard before writing your next story. This one is completely throw away.
Tyler responds:
Never said I was a writer; I needed help with this one. That of course doesn't excuse anything on my end, I welcome criticsm in order to grow. It was challenging enough trying to direct, animate and finish it in time.
But, for someone who is so interested in the world of writing, you should learn to give better criticism because this was condescending and gave me nothing to work from. Think long and hard before writing your next 'review'. This one is completely throw away.
This is very nice. I could see this as a series. Thank you all so much for sharing. =)
Is that.. Katz from Courage the Cowardly Dog?