Plaque on the wall:
LOS ANGELES COUNTY FOOD SAFETY COMISSION
By order of the Mayor of the Food Kingdom. This Food establishment is deemed worthy of offering food to consumers for consumption.
This decree may be revoked at any time, without notice, whenever the mayor of the Food Kingdom says so.
Decisions made by the Mayor of the Food Kingdom may not be challenged in any court of law, here on Earth or any known or unknown planet, now or anytime in the future.
If you have any questions, they will not be answered.
Container on the counter:
Skin Lotion Industrial Strength
WARNING: Prolonged use may result in zooming in on tiny place-holder text that doesn't really say anything interesting.