Living With Velociraptorism
I have known I'm velociraptoristic for about three months. Back in March, I started growing claws. So, I did what the guy in the clip did: I went to the doctor to see what the heck was going on. And the doctor did what the doctor in the clip did: he pulled a gun on me. I slashed him in self defense... then immediately attempted to dial 911 with claws. That's VERY hard to do, but I pulled it off.
The poor guy needed multiple blood transfusions, but he lived. You see, the little known fact about velociraptorism is that it's an entirely physical disorder. Those of us who suffer from it and attack other people don't do that to eat them, we do it because they're FREAKING SHOOTING AT US!!! Trust me, we don't want to eat people. You taste like crap. (no offense, but you do. That's why more people die of falling coconuts each year than of shark attacks.) We'd much rather eat bacon or chicken or hamburgers. Not people.
So, next time you see someone suffering from velociraptorism, don't shoot at them. Be accepting of their differences. If you don't shoot at us, we won't disembowel you. And that's a promise.