Well, that was poor
Seriously, you need to go back to the drawing board on this piece. Granted, that isn't all that far, from what I can tell, but to be an animator on here, you're going to need a few tools at your disposal:
1) Drawing skills
2) Animations skills
3) Sound quality
4) A plot
I've seen some five year olds draw with more skill and imagination that this and the end piece is much more rewarding to watch. Granted, they don't know how to use flash at this point, but they have 9 years of head start on you.
First, get the drawing sorted out. It needs to look something better than a stick figure, in the first instance. Then you can animate it - consider moving body parts and take it from there, as you can even use mundane things, such as yourself to get inspiration for how the thing is to be animated.
With the quality of the sound, I could barely understand one word in every three, so I was struggling. Subtitles across the bottom of the screen, white font on black background is the preferred method of this, please look at getting that to work. Failing that, make the sound quality better - don't mess with your voice so much, perhaps even considering saving up and investing in a more professional microphone and maybe even a graphics tablet.
Then it comes to the writing area. With your animation severely limited as it is, you'll be hard pushed to get a writer to assist in your endeavours at this point. Make some decent animations, showing progress and you may get people interested. There are scripts lurking on the Writing and Flash forums, so go and have a look for them. Try animating them, watch the tutorials and develop your skills. You're not a lost cause, but I believe that this piece sadly is. Who builds a brick wall in the middle of the street for no reason and writes "Doodle's car" across the rear half of the vehicle? From a writer's point of view, these things need answering.
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