I look forward to your next submission
For a first attempt at a Flash game this isn't that bad. It's obvious that a lot of effort has been put into this.
Needless to say, though, it requires more. As the game stands I can't justify giving it a high score because it's far too short.
However, it does have it's good points. The thing I really (I mean REALLY) liked about this was the graphic style and the detail put into the surroundings. Seriously, man, I see very few flash games with such detailed scenery. If I could mark it on graphics alone, it would get full marks. I would like to see the same graphics quality in your next game.
This game is definitely on the right tracks. All it needs (I say all...) is length, a deep plot, more rooms/dungeons, innovative challenges and perhaps a few secrets.
Personally I don't think think this game needs character voices, some of the best games are text only. I think text-based speech would work best for something like this.
You certainly have potential and this game has sown the seed for something truly epic.
To quote Extreme Bop It 2, "do it the same, but better".