But who is thinking about the Paper Industry?!
Dear Robot In Front of the Tree of Life -
I understand it's your job to crack your metal fist against anything that walks within a hundred yards of your precious tree. Nobody here at Galactic Paper is blaming you for following your programming, even when that programming leads you to kick and flail madly in the air for minutes at a time, destroying our Buzzsaw-o-Bots.
Nor can we claim that your motives are incorrect when you lay down those massive root-shooting things. We were expecting guns or lasers or something, but you showed a lot of ingenuity and innovation by planting - planting! - your tower defenses. Rocks, lightning, hurricanes, roots...we thought your defenses were primitive, but it looks like we have underestimated the forces of nature. Our Speed-o-Bots, our Walk-o-Bots, even the Stage 10 Massive-O-Bot, were sadly unprepared to have thorns claw up their tailpipe.
Have you ever *seen* a Grossly Distending Tailpipe, Mr. Tree-Robot? It's not a pretty sight.
We're not asking you to stop defending the Tree of Life, Mr. Tree-Robot. That would fly in the face of all the struggle you've had so far. But...
....but seriously, can't you just let our robots take home a little branch or something?
- Board of Directors, Galactic Paper Incorporated