Hack Job...
I saw a previous episode of this ages ago and it was mildly amusing in it's own unambitious little way. I presume it became an "Internet Sensation" and so you felt the need to continue the series. Fair-do's but there is also a little something called "quitting while you're ahead"...
I gather from one of your responses that you felt OBLIGED to make this simply because you were sponsored and that you needed the cash for rent/bills/student fees etc. I can't blame you for taking the money, MAN, if these cunts paid me to churn out some half arsed parody for cash I'd probably do it too.
But therein lies the problem. This submission has no soul. It really does feel like a retread of a once novel idea being dragged through the grind-mill for the sake of money and not love.
You have even described this as a "Newgrounds Audience" cartoon, which is surely a fucking polite euphemism! If I was making something like this I'd make no bones about the fact that this was just a piece of shit that only 13 year old spastics would approve of!
You're diplomacy is commendable (and lucrative!).
You seem eager to concentrate on your own original projects and have hinted that this was something you really didn't have your heart set on. You've been decent enough to be honest and you have the brains not to let high-scores and front-page delude you into thinking that this is all that you are capable of. In fact, you've displayed some reasonable animation skills in this and I would be much more inclined take an original piece of work from you seriously than have you churn out more of these "wacky" parodies.
My review may seem harsh but I feel that you may agree with some of the things I say and, if anything, will hopefully act as a kick-up-the-arse to get you on the road to making the great flash animations that you are clearly capable of.
Review.
Graphics: Not bad, a bit lazy here and there but there was a hint of good animation bubbling 'neath the surface. I know that you weren't going for high art here so overall they did their job.
The frame-by-frame was overall pretty good.
Sound: Good actors. Crap script. The delivery was also difficult to follow- do they have to talk so fast?
The actual audio quality was good.
Story: There isn't going to be a story is there?
Overall:
From the "Opening Crawl" I knew that this wasn't the cartoon for me. It felt as if the words were scrolling so slowly for no other reason than to use up frames. The voice actress also sounded a bit embarrassed by what she was saying. Fuck, if she's embarrassed then how do you think we feel?
Also, if you attempt an "Opening Crawl" again at least find yourself some designer fonts to make it look more unique. Standard, default Times Roman is a bit lame especially when there is nothing else to look at.
There wasn't much content in the cartoon but I realise that this is part one of a bigger picture. I'm still unsure why the file is so large for only a five minute cartoon? It wasn't as if there was any intense action going on- it was just characters talking.
You never explained to that one reviewer why the cartoon ends on a blank screen. You told him to read through a blog post. Fuck off! You can explain it to him in a response or your authors comments. Why should he have to trawl through blog posts to find the appropriate paragraph where you squirm out of ending the cartoon properly? Is it too much to ask to loop back to the pre-loader?
You can make all the excuses you like but at the end of the day it makes the cartoon look cheap.
Anyway, I must end this fucking helpful review by saying that I probably won't be watching the other episodes in the series but when you do finally get around to some original work I will take the time to check it out. I have no doubt that you can do something genuinely worthwhile when you are motivated by your own instincts and ideas rather than money.