Reviews for Shattered Heaven Act 2.1

[Balvuc]

It good enough to deserve a remake.

Nice script, I'm no fan of mecha, but that doesn't affect my review.

I think the major problem is the drawings. While being better than most of what you'll find around, it does take away from the story itself, which has a potential to go professional bigger than a number of famous animations. Sometimes their lines seem more dramatic than the situation being represented on screen, and the special effects deserve more attention. Also, focus on the facial expressions, as you're strongly inclined to drama in this piece. Study the camera positions as well.

Sometimes I feel like a voice actor didn't get the spirit of a particular line, and that affects my overall satisfaction with the movie. Still. the voices are quite good as a whole.

Another big problem are the audio. In a piece like this one, I would prefer to have an ambient audio all along, following the mood of the current scene. Silence should be used moderately. Also, the sound effects appear quite weak in the awkward silence.

I understand your limitations of filesize, but I'd rather have even shorter parts so that you can make something even better.

Keep drawing!

[CletusJohannes]

Awesome!

Amazing story and nice visuals, I see a lot in the future of this story.As for the movie, I suggest you use a bit more background music, I mean, it gives a pace to the story as well as a mood, Plus it gives more ejoyable results.

PS

please give us more

[knobbywood]

well done

i will start by saying that i did enjoy this and i'm intrigued to see how it unfolds. you def. have talent with flash. I'm sure you wrote this story with the intentions of it being a classic mech anime, but have you considered bringing a completely different approach to the visual style? I'm not saying i dislike anime (i enjoy it a lot, actually) it's just that this has been done time and time again. with a story like this and your artistic talent i'm sure you could bring something better than another gundam(esk) mech cartoon. lemme know when you get your book published, i might have to eye that out.

AdamTilford responds:

Thank you for the review. Yeah this is actually my novel series. It's not canon so it doesn't reveal really anything from the actual series.

This is actually my quick style, for the actual novels, the visuals are a bit different than this style. I decided to keep the full, thought out art for the actual books. But I like this style personally, idk, as the anime series progresses my style might change to resemble the actual book art.

I'll be posting the last 2 parts shortly.

[Auxia]

lolz

Really cool! I think the animation was pretty good, and if the voices were clearer I could give it a 5/5. It's done in the style of a traditional mech anime, but I think it's still interesting. Good job!

AdamTilford responds:

Thank you. Yeah, the youtube version and other full versions off NG have the clear voices. I had to lower the audio quality in order to fit into the 10 MB limit NG has.

I have plenty of room to improve on with Flash though, I'm an author first, so getting used to Flash has been a bit of a challenge.

[ThePegster]

Choppy.

Now, this is an amazing video with good animations and great voice acting, but I feel you need more of a story, and even though I know you said you had a high frame rate, it still seemed kind of choppy. If you need help with the story, PM me, I am a great writer.

AdamTilford responds:

I'm fine, the story is fine. You can't judge a story by one part of an episode. Considering that I'm a writer and have written 4 books, the first one in the process of publishing. This is also one part of 3 parts for the second episode.......so yeah, you can't judge a story from a single segment.

I appreciate the offer, but again you can't judge a story that focuses on development by one section. It's like reading a chapter in a novel without reading to see how everything is developed and then say that the novel doesn't have a good story.