Needs improvement.
First issue:
When characters are falling, they twist like paper. You should sprite animate their descent.
Second issue:
When the characters were talking, it was hard to see the words, and the words disappeared too soon. Do you know how to make those boxes, where you click it to continue with the words? That would help.
Third issue:
It just kinda... ended. You should say 'to be continued' at the end.
Fourth issue:
TOO SHORT! That was interesting. I wanna see more :D