Bizarre utter toss perporting to be news
those beaver rumours aren't going away any time soon for pop supremo, cowell. this shot taken last night shows the high trousered one coming out of popular celeb-u-twat haunt china whites, a place named after the power covering almost every surface in the place.
As the keen-eyed may have noticed Simon appears to be chowing down on some sort of log. his cretinous spokesman said " suggestions that Simon Cowell is secretly the evil king of all beavers are patently rediculous. what this picture shows is him simply sticking to his new tree bark diet".
We've spoken to several dieting experts and all of them said such a diet sounded entirely stylish and we should all try it. An actual doctor however, said "eating wood will kill you. Don't be such a bunch of morons." but we dismissed him as clearly being jealous for not thinking of it first.