Slow pace
I understand this was created for a festival audience and thus meant to be "artistic," but the pace was simply too slow. I would have rated the submission poorly if not for the credits montage, and I really wish the rest of the flash had the same energy. To have neither strong music nor strong visual action in a flash submission is inexcusable, especially when people's attention spans are as short as they are.
In short, this is a good work, but here might not be the best place to display it.