You wrote this well
I liked the dialogue a lot in this. I say this because each of your characters are made individuals through their use of language, and how they use it to interact with the others.
The tones you used for their voices was original, but it has it's faults. You don't see many people using tones as skillfully as you do to help express each character's emotions. However, after listening to each of these characters talk for a long time with these tones, it tends to get a little irritating. My only suggestion is that you manufacture breaks inbetween long pieces of dialogue. This is so it'll help you avoid any head-aches for your viewers.
I liked this piece a lot. I look forwards to your following works.