I don't think you give yourself enough credit
I really enjoyed your work and I can see that your flash skills are definitly inproving since your first couple of flash movies. I would like to point somethings out that interested me though.
1. Your voice actor at the begining of the movie could have gotten a little more into the role, even though it was small role, and not that important it still helps out the progress of the movie.
2. I see that you picked up a male voice for Snake and he's not bad at the role, I give him credit for his talent :).
3. I believe that you did a good Mantis impression actually, again I give you credit for your ability to pull that off mainly because some people don't realise how high pitched of a male voice he actually speaks in and it would be easier for a female to fit into that role.
4. Your mind-reading jokes were a little chessey, but who said chessey can't be funny :).
Overall I believe you did a good job of pulling this together. Your improvement from you first set of movies has shown greatly, and you shouldn't think so neagtive about your flash work when its obvious that you've done a good job. Other people can see your talent or you wouldn't have made the NG front page.
P.S. I look forward to part 2 :).