well, it's a start
other then the box thing, which you have been getting a ear full of, by the look sof it, the only other thing I'd say is to make it long, and maybe add a few more characters, perhaps. Like Squall or Quistis, that would be interesting. But that it, I think you actually did pretty good, so just keep trying. Try adding in another fight, or perhaps making a longer one. I look forward to seeing more of this in the future, good luck!